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Drunk Fucks

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I hang out with a group of guys at a bar downtown every weekend. They are all bigger guys and it makes me feel small because they can pick me up and carry me around, which is something I would never let my soccer player built boyfriend do. I like bigger football player types for this reason. Anyhow, the first time I hung out with them Bron was extremely drunk talking about how good my ass looks in my jeans, how they could make a lot of money off me at a strip club, how I couldn't be 22 because I have such a "womanly shape" aka FAT shape. I am by no means as thin as I once was however I am not a fat person, my bmi is 22, which sucks but still I'm not so fucked up in the head as to think people can legetimately call me fat. Well, this most recent time we were out he was once again belligerant and told me we should make a sex tape and sell it, he liked my nice wide love handles, he said it's great in bed and he liked it, it was a compliment, and it looks good now, although maybe not in 10 years. What the FUCK is that! I had to leave right then because I was about to cry, which I did all the way home until I fell asleep. He's drunk and therefore honest when others tell me oh no you're sexy and perfect and blah blah lies lies. What a complete fucking asshole. And now I don't know what to do, I've been running, working out, eating a lot better, ever since I moved I've felt that I am in a better place mentally so I can probably get back to my lowest weight again but I haven't lost any weight in 5 weeks, I don't know what to do, I feel stuck at this fucking weight, I've even tried the lemonade diet, which is a total crock of shit, but I just wanted some pounds gone to jump start me and NOTHING happened after 3 days so i said fuck it, had a binge purge episode and have been pretty miserable and frantic about how i'm going to be large and in charge the rest of my life.
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